Failure
by Degrassi Nonsense
Summary: Another Owen/Tristan fic. The longest fic I've ever written. Hope you enjoy! Update: So i decided to write another chapter to this. Trig Slash. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Failure**

Tristan finally got his tie to tie correctly as he looked at himself in the mirror. He did a few poses and smiled at himself.

"Fabulous, as always." He said to himself.

Today was the day of his first ever high school play. He had gotten the lead part of Gary, the clean-cut jock of Landaway High. Tris had worked extra, extra hard on this play. He cancelled his plans with Tori, he didn't let Zig bother him, even though they had become best friends over time, and only talked to Maya to run over lines. The play became his life for the past 3 months. As he gave himself one final wink in the mirror and strutted out of the bathroom and into the room of his jock older brother.

"Hey Owen. Are you ready?" he asked his brother. He wasn't dressed for anything but a Friday night at home.

"What would I be ready for?" he asked.

"You're not going?"

"Going? Going where?"

"My play. I told you it was this Friday." He said.

"Oh. Well, no. I'm not going. You know plays aren't my scene."

"B-But…"

"Tristan… No. I'm not going."

Tristan felt his stomach drop at his brother's cold rejection. He knew Owen wasn't the theater type, but he thought that, for once, he'd make ONE exception for his little brother. But just like every other times, he had thought wrong.

"Can you at least give me a ride?" he asked.

"I actually paid for your bus pass for the month." He said, throwing it to him. "Forgot to tell you about that.

Tristan sighed. "You're not even going to give me a ride?"

"Look Tris. I've had a long day. I don't feel like leaving the house for anything today. I kinda got rejected by this girl I liked."

Tristan shook his head. Was there any way in the world that his brother could give anything close to a damn about his little brother? But he quickly erased that from him mind.

"I'm playing a jock, if that makes you feel any better."

"Ok? That's nice I guess."

"He's also straight…"

"Tristan, you know I don't care about that anymore."

Tristan looked down at his feet again. "Fine, I guess I'll take the bus then." He said, turning around to walk away. He stopped for a second to ask one more question.

"Owen?"

"Whaaaat?" he whined.

"Are you at least happy for me?" he asked with sad eyes.

"Whatever." Was all that came from his mouth.

Tristan almost cried. "F-Fine. I'll just go then." He said. "I… I love you."

"Tris…"

"Yeah?"

"Remember when we had that talk about what regular guys don't say to each other?" Owen asked.

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"Well, that was one of them." He snapped, pretty much ending the conversation for him.

"B-But we're…" he sighed. "Bye." He said, walking down the stairs to do his play alone once again. He sat down by the bus stop and waited for his bus to come.

Owen was taking a nap when he suddenly he heard his phone ring.

"Goddammit. Someone better be dying!" he exclaimed looking at the caller ID. _Tristan_.

Owen was confused. He looked at the clock and saw that it had only been an hour after he left. He knows the bus was supposed to get there in 30 minutes and the trip should've been less time. He groggily answered his phone.

"What is it Tristan?"

The voice that responded, however, was not Tristan. It was Tori. She sounded very upset and was talking in a speed that Owen simply couldn't understand.

"Slow down little girl. What are you doing with Tristan's phone?"

"T-T-Tristan's bus crashed." Tori said through her tears. "They're t-taking him to the hospital now. They said they don't know if he's g-g-gonna m-make it."

Owen froze. "Oh my God…" Without another word, he hung up, put on his shoes and sprinted to his car. As he fumbled with his keys in frustration, he stuck it in the ignition and sped all the way to the hospital. His big brother side began to kick in and he actually felt his stomach drop and his body tense up. In less than 10 minutes, he was already at the hospital.

He ran through the hospital and found Tori with her head in her hands and Maya was comforting her. Zig was pacing the floor with tears in his eyes. Even Adam and Drew had showed up. Owen remembered Tris telling him about meeting Adam, and Drew already knew him from the numerous times he came to his house.

"Guys?" Owen called out. Everyone's head shot up at Owen. He could hear Drew whisper 'crap' to himself. Zig and Tori both sighed and Adam just stared. They all didn't look too happy to see him. "Do you guys know anything yet?"

"No, not yet." Zig said in a shaky voice.

Everyone was still giving him the stink-eye. "What's with the dirty looks?"

Tori spoke up. "You're a real bastard, you know that?"

Owen's face scrunched up in anger. "Watch who you're ta-"

"Tristan called me in TEARS right before he got on the bus telling me all about how you practically gave him a stiff arm when it came to the play. You couldn't even give him a ride! He worked so hard on this play and you didn't even care! What kind of brother are you?" she screamed as tears streamed down her face in anger and sadness.

It was Zig's turn to say something. "I have no fucking idea how he could look up to someone like you. You nonstop treat him like crap! My best friend could die because of YOU!" Zig yelled.

Owen felt sick to his stomach. They were right, both of them. He felt like a terrible, terrible person. His brother is in the ICU and it's all his fault. He tried his hardest not to cry when he felt Drew put a hand on his shoulder, signifying his loyalty. Drew was highly disappointed in him, but remembered that this is killing him inside.

"He'll be alright, Owen. Don't give up hope." He told him.

Suddenly, a doctor walked into the room. "Milligan family?"

Owen's head shot up quickly. "That's us. Please, please tell me he's ok."

"Well, we only give information to fam-"

"I'm his older brother… Please just tell me he's ok. He's all I got. I don't know how I'd be without him."

"I know he was all you had…"

Owen nodded, but when he finally realized what the doctor had said, his eyes widened and began to fill with tears. "Had?"

"Your brother's injuries were way too severe to recover. We did all we could to save him but… he didn't come back."

Tori began to weep as Maya held her, shedding a few tears as well.

"No…" Zig said. "No! There has to be more you can do!" he screamed, angry tears falling.

"Son, I'm sorry but-"

"NO! Save him! Save him please! He's my best friend! I can't lose him, I need him!"

"I'm sorry, kids." The doctor said, now walking away.

Zig started sobbing. "GET BACK HERE! Save him! Save him!" he screamed as Tori, Maya, and Adam tried to compose him. Zig finally sat in a chair and cried his eyes out.

Owen's facial expression was blank. Blank and emotionless as he was still standing in the very same spot. He was slightly shaking as the tragedy had began to sink in. Drew, backing away from the cry fest to his right (he didn't know anyone but his brother), saw Owen and walked in front of him.

"Owen, I'm so sorry." He said sadly.

"I… I…" Owen couldn't speak. Drew then wrapped his arms around Owen, starting to tear up himself at the sight of his internally broken friend. Owen didn't hug back, though, and this worried Drew. Drew let go of him.

"Owen?" he asked. "Owen, say something please." Drew pleaded.

Owen opened his mouth to say something, but didn't and began to walk away to his car.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" screamed Zig as he left.

Owen drove back to his house and ran into Tristan's room. He saw a bunch of flyers and pamphlets about the play he was going to be in. He looked on his bed and found the script.

_Landaway High_

_Leads: Eleanor Winston and Tristan Milligan._

Owen sat on Tristan's bed and began reading it. He actually found himself enjoying it. He even had a laugh here and there. As he finished, he went back into his room and fell asleep, hoping to wake up and have this all be a dream.

It's been a week since Tristan's untimely death and it was the day of the funeral. Owen was trying to tie his and was getting very frustrated. He tried once more and once again failed.

"Damnit!" he yelled. "Tris! Could you help me wi-" he started. He then sighed, ripping off the tie in anger. Owen decided to leave it at home and go to the funeral without it.

As he got to the funeral, he found the niners, once again giving him dirty looks. Owen just sat down in a corner by himself.

Meanwhile, Drew had also arrived with Adam.

"Do you know how Owen's doing?" Adam asked.

"I honestly have no idea. He won't talk to me… He won't talk to anyone." Drew answered.

"What do you think is wrong with him? I haven't even seen him cry yet."

"Neither have I… He's probably in shock so his emotions are bottling. It's only a matter of time before it all comes out." Drew said, looking at his friend in the back corner.

The service began with a few hymns which Owen took no part of. A few people like Tori and Zig went up to say a few words abut their fallen friend. A few laughs went around the church as they reminisced some humorous times they had with Tristan. But Owen's face stayed neutral. He didn't feel at all the need to laugh. It was HIS brother in the casket in front of them. He didn't find it very satisfying at all.

'So this day was supposed to be funny?' He thought to himself. 'I see nothing humorous about today. People should be mourning. My brother is dead for-'

"Owen?" The priest had interrupted his thoughts. "Would you like to say a few words on your brother's behalf?" he said to him. Owen hesitated on answering, but he figured people should really hear what he thought. He stood up and walked slowly to the podium. Most of the crowd looked at him with disgust, the rest looked at him with sympathy.

"Uh…" he started. "I know a lot of you aren't exactly happy to see my face today but… like it or not I'm here… You know that theory that everything happens for a reason, and that God is supposed to have some sort of 'plan'?" he asked the crowd.

"Well, if there actually was a God, I'd ask why? Why would God take my baby brother away? My rock, my reason for living, my… My Tris. I don't understand. This is supposed to be apart of some kind of plan? You've taken my parents and now… now you've taken all I had left… I guess that's my fault though. Right, everyone?" he said. Zig and Tori were still angry, but they felt sympathy as well.

"You're right though… It _is_ my fault. All I had to was care. And at that moment I didn't. Key words: at that moment. Before anyone points the finger at me, I want you all to know that I loved Tristan more than anything in the world. Yeah, I'm overly stricken by my stupid male pride. I'm aware of that now." He said.

"I've been silent this passed week, I know, but I think it's time I let my feelings go." He said, his voice cracking. "I miss him… I miss him so much. My little guy is gone now and it's all my fault." He said, looking up and starting to cry. "What kind of 'plan' involves taking people that are loved by others? Well I'll tell you something. It's bullshit. It's all BULLSHIT!" he screamed into the microphone. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the majority of the crowd was wide-eyed. He looked at everyone, then quickly walked down the aisle and out of the church.

He was shaking as he fumbled several times with his keys to drive away to his house. As he arrived at his house, he went inside and became a whirlwind of destruction. He punched about seven holes in the walls and knocked down anything he could put his hands on. He went upstairs and looked at himself in the mirror.

"You're a failure, Owen. A fucking FAILURE!" he screamed, punching the mirror. The glass shattered, shards of the mirror flying into his arms and face. He left the bathroom and went into Tristan's room, sitting on his bed. As he buried his head into his hands, sobbing, he looked to the left and saw a picture of the two of them. Owen grabbed the photo and saw the date: _April 4 2011_. It was one of those days where the both of them were getting along very well. He could remember the day perfectly. They were both playing Call of Duty for hours on end and for the first time, Tristan actually beat him. That was one of the things he liked about him. Even though he was gay, he was secretly a huge gamer, just like Owen. He picked up the picture, realizing he had never seen it there before. Owen stared at the picture for a few moments, then tightly hugged it. He fell over onto his side and began t sob loudly. His brother, and truly his best friend, was gone. And there was nothing he could do about it.

"Owen?" he heard someone say. Owen rolled over and saw Drew, Adam, Maya, Tori, and Zig standing before him. He sat up.

"W-What are you doing h-here?" he asked them all.

"We were worried about you." Maya spoke up.

"All of us." Zig added.

Owen felt tears fill his eyes water again.

"Owen… we didn't know." Tori said. "We never knew how much he meant to you. We're so sorry."

"We all are." Adam said.

Owen looked away from everyone, ashamed. Drew sat down next to him and put an arm around his friend. "We're here now, Owen. It's ok, we're here."

Owen looked down and began to sob again. "I loved him you guys. I loved him so much. I'm such a BASTARD!" he yelled, falling apart in Drew's arms.

Zig felt his pain through his tears and began to cry also. He couldn't help but join the hug. Everyone else, one by one, began to join the embrace. Though Owen had no idea when he was going to get over this, he felt a sense of comfort. For once, he let his emotions run free. Even though he was the oldest of the group, he cried freely.

Everyone let go of him. "They waited for you with the burial… Did you still want to see it?" Maya asked.

Owen sniffled and wiped his eyes. "Yeah… Yeah, I do."

So the six of them rode, in Owen's car, back to the funeral. They all walked together to the graveyard. As they lowered Tristan's coffin into the six-foot-deep hole in the ground, Owen said a silent prayer to himself, hoping that Tristan would be a guardian angel to him. He wanted to be watched over by him. Tristan was finally buried. Owen gave him one final wave.

"I love you kiddo. I just can't believe you loved me too." He said. And as he wiped the last of his tears, he walked away.

**This was indeed the longest oneshot I've ever written. I hope you all enjoyed it. Review por favor?**


	2. Chapter 2: Zig

Zig was looking through a few old pictures of him and his family. He was an only child, so there wasn't that many. But he still cherished them like gold. He turned the page to one of his favorites of the scrapbook. It was of him and his parents.

Zig's mother had died in a horrible car accident, and he couldn't help but blame himself for it. It was a bright sunny day in grade 8 and Zig was waiting for his mother to come and pick him up from school. She was a little later than usual and Zig got a bit worried. He decided to text her to see if she was on her way. His mother was very strict about texting and driving, but when it came to family, it was an exception.

"_I'm sorry kid, your mom is gone." The paramedic told 13 year old Zig._

"_No!... NOOO!" he screamed._

_His father was also with him. He burst into tears. "How the hell did she get into a car accident?"_

"_Apparently she was texting and driving. If you want to blame someone, blame whoever this 'Zig' character is." The paramedic said, walking away._

_Zig's heart dropped to the ground. It was his fault. It was all his fault and there was nothing he could do to bring him back. As he took it all in, he suddenly felt a strong, vigorous grip snatch him by his arm._

"_We're going home." His father said, pulling his son into his truck._

Since that very day, Zig has had to put make-up on his face almost every day. There was a new wound on his face or his arms or any other place in the body. So before he went to school one day, he went to Owen's house, banging on the door.

""Alright, alright! Goddamn!" Zig heard Owen say behind the door before opening it. "Who the hell is coming here at-… Holy shit! Zig what the fuck happened to you?" Owen exclaimed, wide-eyed.

"No time to explain. W-Where's your b-brother?" Zig asked, tearing up.

"Um… Upstairs." Owen told him. "Tris, your friend's here!"

Zig thanked him and Owen nodded back while hopping up and down trying to get his sock back on. As Zig slowly limped upstairs he felt hot tears roll down his face and onto his yellow polo. He knocked on his acquaintance's bedroom door and waited for him to answer.

"Tori, don't you think it's a little early to-…" Tristan paused for a second to take in the horrific face that faced him. He put his hand over his mouth. "Zig…"

"H-Help me." Zig managed to say before bursting into tears, putting his head on Tristan's shoulder in shame.

Tristan wrapped an arm around him and pulled him inside. "Zig, you have to tell me what happened. Did someone jump you? Did you have a bad fall or something?"

"M-My dad…" he sobbed.

" W-What? Your dad did this?" Tristan asked. "For how long?"

"Since… Since the day my mom died." Zig said, tears falling.

"Since your mom died? Zig, that's over a freaking year! Why haven't you told anyone this?" Tris said, lightly shaking him.

"I'm scared, Tristan. I don't wanna be alone. My dad is all I have."

"You NEED to tell someone, Zig. This kind of thing is gonna just keep happening again and again and again."

"I know…" he said, looking down.

"So… why'd you come here?" Tristan asked.

"I was hoping you could help me with the… covering."

"You mean makeup?" Tris asked. "Don't you have Tori for that?"

"I'm asking you." Zig told him.

Tristan gave him an odd look, but then shrugged and went with it. Tristan and Zig had a good 15 minutes before going to school so Tris had to make this quick. Zig was lucky that his friend had read too many _Vogue_ and _Cosmopolitan _magazines. Tristan went away at his face with blush and other masking makeup to make his skin look unharmed. With about 6 minutes to spare, Zig looked normal.

"Flawless." He smiled to himself. "Take a look." He said, holding up a small mirror.

"Wooow…" he gawked. "This is so much better than doing it myself."

"Wait, so that slightly darker spot that was around your eye wasn't a skin condition?" Tristan chuckled.

"Crap, was it that noticeable?"

"To me, everyone else said they never saw it."

Zig cracked a small smile. "Nothing gets passed you, eh?"

"Well, for a closeted man I'd say it wasn't bad…." Tris looked down as he figured out what he just said.

"W-What are you talking about?" he studdered.

Tristan sighed. "Zig, you know what I'm talking about. Tori may have a horrible gaydar, but mine is top notch."

Zig turned a bright red, even under all the cosmetics. His heart began to race and he looked down in sheer embarrassment. He fell silent.

"Zig…" Tristan started. His silence was worrying him. "You know it's ok, right? Being gay or whatever, you have nothing to be afraid of. I mean, I know I sound terribly bias right now, but don't stress about it. Lot's of people are."

"But… that's not the only thing." Zig said, looking up at Tristan.

"Oh… Well then what else seems to be the-"

Before he could finish the sentence, the scared, lanky teenager took a chance and closed the gap between the two. Tristan's eyes widened to the point of bugging out of their sockets. He didn't reject it, hell no. He's had a crush on Zig for quite a while. He's known that Zig was gay (or bisexual, all he knew was he liked boys), but never made a move due to the fact that Tori was hung up on him. And that's when it hit them. Tristan was the one to pull back.

"Crap!" he exclaimed.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, kind of startled.

"T-Tori." He stammered.

That's when Zig freaked out. "Crap!" he also exclaimed. "What are we gonna do about this?"

"I don't know. I mean… You're cheating…"

"And you're betraying your best friend." Zig finished for him. "But… I really do like you, Tris."

"Zig, I like you too, a lot actually, but what about Tori? I've been loyal to her since the day we met! If she finds out… It'd kill her."

"I know… But I can't, no, I _won't_ hide this anymore." He said. "Not from you. Not anymore. I'm not sure about coming out, but I care about you, Tris, a lot."

Tristan took a long think, but then lightly smiled. "I guess Tori doesn't have to know about it." He said, brushing some of Zig's hair out of his face.

Suddenly, they both heard a loud honk come from Owen's car. "Do you guys want a ride or not?" he shouted from his Honda. The boys both smiled at each other and walked down to the senior's car.

_That was 2 months ago._

Those two months were the best two months of Zig's life. He developed a strong bond with Tristan. Everyone saw them becoming best friends, but in reality they became lovers. Besides Owen, Zig felt like he missed him the most. He missed the way he kissed him. He missed when he'd run his fingers through his hair. He missed when he called him "Z" or "Ziggy". He missed when he'd tickle him when he felt upset, just to make him feel better. He missed when he'd run to Tristan's house after one of his beatings and Tris would hold him tightly as he cried himself to sleep. He wouldn't have that anymore. Zig reached into the back of the scrapbook he was looking at and found a picture of the two of them. He remembered that day clearly. Zig and Tristan were spending the day at the beach together. Tori wondered why they wanted to spend the day together, but she didn't argue. She actually encouraged it. That was the first time that he kissed Tristan in public (no one he knew was there); and because of his untimely death, it was the only time.

As Zig stared at the photo, he felt hot tears roll down his cheek and he began to tremble. Tristan was very near and dear to him. This was the first time he cried since the funeral four days ago. At that moment, he didn't want to be at home. All he wanted to do was see his friend. As he wiped his eyes and put the picture back in the book, he snuck out of his bedroom window and started to walk to the graveyard. He noticed his lack of shoes and socks, and the rain, but he didn't care. The walk was about half an hour until he finally arrived at the graveyard that he was at four days ago. It took him a little while to find Tristan's grave, but when he found it, there was someone already there. It didn't long to figure out who it was. He knew that brunette hair more than anyone.

"Tori?" he whispered.

She jumped lightly and turned around. "Z-Zig? What are you doing here? It's almost 2 in the morning."

"Well… You're here too." Zig said. "I just couldn't sleep."

"You either, eh?"

Zig shook his head, sitting on the wet grass. "I just wanted to see my friend."

"Yeah. Me too." She said, looking down and noticing he was barefoot. "Zig, you're not even wearing shoes."

"I just wanted to leave as quickly as possible." Zig told her.

"Your dad again?" she asked sadly. Zig nodded.

There was a long pause between the two until Zig felt a hand lightly touch his leg. "I loved him… You know? He taught me so much. He was always so happy, even when people made fun of him he was just… a joy to be around." She said. "Poor Owen. He's been so unresponsive to people at school lately. It's understandable I guess." She said.

"I know… I get how he feels, losing family. I totally understand. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my mom." He said, choking up.

Tori put an arm around him. "I know you miss her."

Zig nodded. "I don't get it… Why are all the people I care about leaving me? First my Mom, now… now Tristan… I loved him too."

"I know how you feel…" Tori sadly spoke.

"Uhh Tor, I have something to tell you." Zig said, looking down.

"Oh… What's up?"

He took a deep breath. "I really did love Tristan."

"I know." She stated.

"No," he tried to explain. "I mean I… _really did_ love Tristan."

"Zig, I know." She stated again, chuckling.

Zig froze. "Tori I don't think you under-"

"Tristan told me you guys were dating already." He told him.

Zig's eyes widen. "H-He told you?" he heavily blushed, almost thinking about running off.

"Yup." She shrugged. "I mean, the whole 'day at the beach' thing kinda gave it away for me anyways."

"Oh…" he said, blushing. "Why aren't you killing me right now?" he asked.

"Zig, I'm not gonna be angry with you because you were happy. I mean, I was at first, that's why we broke up that day and didn't tell you why, but you two looked happy together. I wouldn't be able to do that to Tristan, or you either. I love you both, therefore I want you both to be happy. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?"

"O-Oh…" Zig was taken aback. "Thank you."

There was another long pause and the rain was beginning to lighten up a little. The teens both read the tombstone about several times.

_Tristan Jeremy Milligan. Son, Brother, Friend. 1997-2012_

After the silence, Zig could no longer keep his composure and began to sob. Tori saw this and put a loving arm around his shoulder, letting him set his emotions free.

"It's not fair!" Zig whimpered. "All Tristan did was care and give. He was kind to every person he saw no matter what they were. Why him? Why did he have to be taken away from me?" he cried. Tori also let a few tears fall.

"I don't know. Things like this just happen, Zig. It was a freak accident."

"I loved him… So much." He sobbed.

"I loved him too, Zig. I loved him too." She said, trying to calm him down. The rain then stopped. Both teens were practically soaked.

Suddenly, a flashlight was shined in their faces. It was a policeman. "Do you two have any idea what time it is? Go home before I have to take you." She snapped.

"Sorry ma'am. Can you just… give him a minute?" Tori said. The cop gave her a dirty look, but nodded

"You have one minute exactly. Make it count." She said.

Zig had finally calmed down a little and put his hand on the tombstone, reading it one more time. Then, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out the picture of the two of them. He kissed it and placed it on the ground in front of it. He got up, letting one more tear fall as he whispered, "I love you."


End file.
